Janet's Blah Blah Blog

Reflections on 80 Years of Living

May 10, 2020 - #3 - I've Been Sick

I have so many stories to tell you about my career experiences that it is too much to dwell on in one blog. I will get back on the subject from time to time.

I have stage 4 ovarian cancer and yes I have the cancer gene. In March 2018. I woke up early one Monday morning and said to Steve "I need to go to the emergency room". I don't know why I insisted on going to the emergency room as I was feeling no pain and was more or less the same as always. We went to the emergency room where they did a CT scan. I knew I was in trouble when, after the scan, the technician came out and asked me if there was any cancer in my family. A little later one of the hospital doctors came to my room and told me I had cancer in my ovaries which had masticated to my other organs and he gave me about 2 1/2 months to live assuming it was too late for surgery.

Steve found a surgeon who was willing to give it a shot. His plan was to open me up, remove all the tumors he could see, then finish with lots of chemotherapy. A few days later I underwent that six-hour surgery. He found cancer in my colon, removed it, and sewed the two loose ends together. Evidently, he should have taken smaller stitches because feces leaked through the suture causing various daily infections that could not be stopped without another surgery. After ten days Steve and the doctor met in my room to discuss this trauma. Concerns centered around my ability to survive the operation vs my ability to survive without an operation. I remember nothing about this conversation or anything since the first operation. However, Steve says I sat up in bed and announced I wanted the operation. So it was I had my second surgery resulting in a permanent colostomy. The anesthesiologist left me on the respirator telling Steve I may never come off of it.

This blog is proof that I did come off the respirator and did survive. All in all, I was in the hospital a month spending most of the time in intensive care. One glorious day I was discharged and returned to my wonderful home.

After a few weeks, I started my six-month prescription for chemotherapy.  While my cancer scores improved with chemo, I could not tolerate the treatmentl   I was in bed all day every day and lost 30 lbs  Steve hooked me up to an artificial food IV every night to keep me alive.  After about four months I told the doctor I couldn't handle the chemo anymore and was even starting to think about suicide.  He took me off the chemo and started me in an oral drug designed to keep cancer from growing.   After a couple of months, I began to feel better and could get out of bed and walk to the kitchen.  My appetite came back and I ate ravenously.  We went out on Thanksgiving day to have dinner with friends.  I knew I was climbing out of it.

Was there anything good that came out of this? Yes, during this time I fell in love with my husband of 60 years all over again. He was the best caregiver ever. He was so good to me doting on my every whim. We appreciate each other so much more now. We have maintained this new closeness and cherish our moments together.

May 7, 2020 - #2 - Culture Climate Changing

It was a time of change in the cultural climate of the workforce and it would take time to settle in. It was the time when men were assumed to be competent until proven incompetent and women were assumed to be incompetent until proven competent. People seek to validate their beliefs by looking for examples that reflect them, so from the beginning, women started playing with a stacked deck. However, just because you are playing with a stacked deck doesn't mean you can't win anyway. Linda and I were mentors to each other during this time and developed a close bond.

If you are playing with a stacked deck it is helpful to have a sense of humor. I had this opportunity to use my humor gift in my first 'big deal meeting' after being appointed Director. This meeting consisted of all the deans and all the vice-presidents with the purpose of discussing some of the issues in the Computer Center. Shortly after the meeting began one of the deans stood up and pounded on the table. He recited the names of all the previous directors of the Computer Center which, of course, were all male. He ended by saying "no offense meant Janet, but we need a man in your job." The room became silent. After a few seconds, I replied "I am willing to do just about anything to turn around the problems in the Computer Center, but a sex change operation is totally out of the question." The room broke out in laughter easing the stored up tension and we got down to productuve work.

May 5, 2020 - #1 - First Post

Last week I went to Gulf Shores with my BFF, Linda, (I'm from Tennessee and she lives in Alabama). We both had been quarantined for six weeks and were tired of the same old scenery. We rented a place on the beach even though the beaches were closed. We read and talked most of the time, bought fresh seafood from the market, and cooked shrimp, crabs, crabcakes, oysters, and grouper. Every night was a feast.

This is where this blog idea took root. My 80th birthday is July 4, 2020 which inspired a conversation about our past lives and anything we want to accomplish while we still can. My life has been very full and I want to share my experiences with others. In short, I want to be a motivational speaker. However, I have no idea how to get there other than knocking on doors and asking whoever answers "Hello, I am Janet, and I am a motivational speaker. Do you have anything you aspire to do that you lack the motivation to accomplish?" Linda says "Why don't you start a blog?" and so we begin.

I have been friends with Linda for over 40 years We both worked for the administration of the University of Alabama at Birmingham in the 1970/80s. I was the Director of Central Computing and she was the Budget Director. We were the highest-ranked women at UAB. I call us the in-between generation.